I got this email yesterday from a mate in Melbourne… Was cute…
It was obviously written by a woman, and was all these reasons to buy a dog, but was nicely done to insinuate that maybe there was a little comparison with men, and the differences of opinions about life of men and women.
Of course it was a humorous look at these differences, though I can’t help but think in all of these little jokes and emails, that their original writers might have been a little annoyed when they first wrote them. Maybe they angry at an ex, or had just had an argument with their partner and felt a little bitter… Either way, there are the same types of things directed at women, written by scorned men as well. The debate, and the snipes go both ways… with equal amounts of anger and venom.
So what’s my point? My point is that it seems plainly obvious to me that in the thousands of years of social interaction between men and women, we can’t seem to accept that men and women are different, and just leave it at that. This fight for equality that has been raging does have some grounds, as no-one can deny the inequality through the ages. However I believe the ways in which we go about trying to rectify this issue are not well thought out and seem like most things, just done for political correctness and not practicality. I think society today in this country isn’t as unbalanced as some make it out to be, issues that some may find sexist are more than likely to be caused by trying to manage change in a more acceptable way.
Men and women are different, we think differently, we act differently. There is no changing that, that’s just part of life. IMHO, the best option is for us to accept that, try to understand a little bit about the opposite sex and how they think. Most of all, in accepting it, we try not to make others think and act the same way we do. I’m not saying we should just accept that there is an equality, and not change… I’m just saying that maybe we should try and take the venom out of it, and help each other to accept the change.
Change takes time, and requires acceptance… and venom, snide comments, sexist jokes, even in a light-hearted way, doesn’t help the issue. Most of us react badly when we are forced to do something. Even if if we may agree with the issue at hand… we are pushed, we push back. That’s instinct, and like it or not, that is just a part of us that we should never train out. I have a lot to say about instinct, so maybe I’ll keep that for another time when I like the taste of foot.
So… Before you comment on this little rant, let me tell you a few things about me… I believe what I believe until someone convinces me otherwise. My opinion is just that, mine… I understand yours might be very different, and my rant in no way is trying to tell you what YOU should believe. Am I right? Am I wrong? I don’t really know… It’s just an opinion gained through my perspective, my life, my view of our world. I also believe that NO-ONE else can possibly have the same perspective of life, as to have that same perspective you would have had to have been living my life, through my eye’s and my experiences. So, if you choose to share your opinion on this subject, please try and phrase it in a way that you are sharing your opinion, and not dissecting my opinion. Perspective is related to credibility… Perspective is life… Life is non-transferable, just shareable. I’m interested in what you have to share. 
You know it’s a full moon. I think you’re doing well not to ‘direct’ that at anyone.
I tend not to finish reading or send on the emails I get about that sort of thing – things men do to women. Things women to do men. Blah Blah. It’s boring and does nothing for me. And I don’t really like my gender-humour pre-packaged.
So having said that, if there is an *exchange* which is improvised – face to face or whatever, and it’s all in the spirit of sparring, then I might indulge in a little gender sledging – although there is a line which cannot be crossed. Us HR types are a bit like that. At a point we pull up and go ‘Enough!!’
If I experience / observe sexism (either way) which serves to offend, hurt or disadvantage me or another person, or I experience patronising behaviour, then I have to say, it’s on. But I do look out the window to check the phase of the moon before I launch….just for a reality check.
Interesting, though yes, those emails/humour bug me as well.
Laura and I were looking through a discount/gift store this morning, actually, and came across a magnet. It had a – very stylised, think toilet sign stylised – picture of a woman walking a man on a leash as one might a dog. The caption was words to the effect of ‘Girls rule, but men make good pets.’
I suppose it’s supposed to be funny, but it prompted Laura to comment on the double standards when it comes to sexism. That would be likely much less, ahem, “acceptable”, should it have been reversed.
I think one of the issues with the ‘equality’ movement, tends to be that ignores what you quite correctly pointed out – that there is *difference* in the equation. I remember being dragged along to a Women’s Day lecture series with my modern history teacher in year twelve – she was a rabid ‘feminist’, and I was her favourite student, so of course I would enjoy attending with her, right?
Most of it was unmitigated crap. However there was one woman who was trying very hard to make the point – equal, but not identical. Maybe that’s a point that needs to be made a little more frequently.
But honestly, I think in a lot of ways, particularly when it comes to this kind of “humour”, it’s just something that for a lot of us, we just need to get over and grow up. I see it not really as sexism, but as a carry-on from the little kid’s “you look like a monkey” level of humour/insult. It’s a “you’re different, therefore I must belittle you”.
I remember getting that as a kid for being a) a girl, b) with glasses, and c) a lisp. I was different. I can’t promise that I might not have joined with other girls in the whole “ew, boy germs” thing. Someone is different. Whether you see them being identified as a threat, or just an easy victim – it’s the same thing, and it’s the same with kids, or with adults who act like them.
You’re right…it is all about perspective
punctuate at will.
Dear John I want a man who knows what love is all about you are generous kind thoughtful people who are not like you admit to being useless and inferior you have ruined me for other men I yearn for you I have no feelings whatsoever when we’re apart I can be forever happy will you let me be yours Gloria
(sorry, couldn’t help myself)
Dear John,
I want a man who knows what love is. All about you are generous kind thoughtful people who are not like you, admit to being useless and inferior! You have ruined me. For other men I yearn, for you I have no feelings whatsoever. When we’re apart I can be forever happy, will you let me be?
Yours Gloria.
Dear John,
I want a man who knows what love is all about. You are generous kind thoughtful, people who are not like you admit to being useless and inferior. You have ruined me for other men. I yearn for you, I have no feelings whatsoever when we’re apart, I can be forever happy, will you let me be yours?
Gloria
Hey, that’s so cool! Did you find that somewhere? Or come up with it yourself?
I wish I could claim credit, but someone gave it to me years ago. I’ve always loved it, I’ve just never had the chance to post it irreverently before.