I’m all over the place emotionally these days…  So if I seem more depressed than I really am…  you’ll just have to take it that I’m not really that depressed.  I have a lot going through my mind, car issues aside the time spent on public transport and getting around…  walking to work and such is giving me too much time to consider my life as it stands…  where it’s heading and such.

Recently close friends have also given me reason to question who I am…  and whether I should be the person I am, or whether change would be for the better (not in a bad way either, just that kinda thoughtful kinda thinking kinda way).  I used to think that I knew who I was…  And I was happy being me…  Now there’s a small amount of doubt, a small amount of questioning whether the real me is who I really should be…  or whether I should change just a touch, and try and keep up appearances…  and fit in with the “Norm” more.  Mind you…  it’s only a smidgen of doubt…  and I seriously doubt it will change who I am…  but it’s doubt all the same.

With these issues bouncing around in my head…  and other things in my life giving me reason for concern, I think I probably come across as more depressed than I really am…  Not sure if it’s my subconscious trying to tell me, and others to seek out friends and attention, or if it’s just me thinking that sympathy is always good…  either way…  I am not really as bad as I make out subconsciously.  If you care enough, you won’t ask me if I’m OK…  you won’t panda to my subconscious mind seeking attention…  you’ll just give me a quick hug, and say, “Get over it Sveinn, you are better than this and you damn well know it.”

“As the sand passes through the hour glass, these are the days of our lives…”